The Joys of Education...

I am a weird kid. That much is obvious to me, and anyways who knows me. I've always been just a little quirky. There are times, however, when I feel like the college experience has made me just a little bit more random. Today, that became very apparent to me in a conversation I had with a friend over text.

As far as background goes, besides the fact that we are both conservatives, I think that the only thing that you need to know over winter break, I found out via a huge genealogical book that I was a descendant of King Duncan I of Scotland (Who features as the first victim in Shakespeare's Macbeth), and when I shared this with my friend, he claimed that he was actually a descendant of Macbeth. Needless to say, we haven't communicated since that information came up.

Anyways, the conversation went something like this:

Aaron: Did you hear about Scotland?

(This is a reference to the referendum declared yesterday)

Friend: Free at last, free at last! Thanks God Almighty, they may be free at last! Though I wouldn't want to live there because the economy would collapse. But you know. Wales next!

Aaron: That's what I was getting to. We talked about it today in class. It's all about the national pride though- forget the economy and defense and all that stuff. Alaska is totally going to be next! AIP (Alaskan Independence Party) all the way! Sarah Palin as the first president!

Friend: I had forgotten about that! Alaska's economy would be fine, oil and all, and as for defense... grizzly bears and wolves would have to do. I think the best move for Scotland, because of the cultural connection and similarity to the USA, is to apply for statehood!

Aaron: Agreed. Let's finally get this nation across the pond once and for all. We all can clearly see that Europe could use a bit more of America's conservatism-- you just can't leave the liberals alone for too long. Annexing Scotland is a great way to give our ideas a foothold on the continent.

Friend: Exactly. And it would give the US economy the boost in exports that it needs by doubling the wool production and giving the US the rights to the distinguished title of Scotch Whiskey for Whiskey produced on the isle!

Aaron: Genius! Let's do it. Sell Texas to pay off the debt once and for all and then annex Scotland and use the whiskey to solve all of our economic problems!

Friend: I can't really see the sale the Texas. But what I can see is the USA adopting more liberal economic and social policies looking to appear more attractive to Scottish Nationals. This leads to many conservative Americans to become upset and when the inevitable war breaks out between the US and the UK the southern states realize that the US is weak and decide to once again secede. The South would win that war pleasing the angry states rights southerner, the US would beat the UK, and Scotland, whiskey and all, would be a territory, and the huge wars would give the economy the WWII treatment resulting in another 1950's economy with a large middle class. Everyone is happy. Well, except the UK... but who cares?

Aaron: Dang right! The Brit's had their chance. I vote that you and I go over there, and on the graves our ancestors, bury the hatchet once and for all, uniting the power of both Macbeth and Duncan to usher in a new chapter of Scottish History--a chapter ruled not by the upstarts in London, but by the free kilt-wearing peoples of the highlands. We won't stop until we have a kilt in the White House, and the world knows and fears the power of the caber-tossers!

Anyways, that's me. If you followed that, or thought that was amusing, I will pray for your soul.

Disclaimer: I don't believe most of that stuff. I am not a liberal-hater nor do I blame them for Europe's debt crisis, I like Texas (After all, my roommate is from the Lone Star State), I think the United Kingdom is an invaluable ally for the US, nor am I actually in favor of Scottish independence.

Alaska however... Well to be honest, I would be highly entertained to watch them try to secede. No apology there.