A Culture of Struggles

                

               In recent months, I’ve seen a trend that troubles me. Most of these incidents happen in fast and testimony meetings, which in LDS culture is an interesting sounding board from which one can gather many candid opinions on life. The trend that is disturbing me is that everyone seems to talk often of struggles, trials, and challenges in these meetings. I’ve heard many well-intentioned people who want to be realistic about their lives get up and say things like “Look, I know life is hard for you—it’s been hard for me—but the Gospel has helped me through the hardships, and it can help you too.” The theme that I’ve been hearing is this idea that life is a constant struggle, and left unchecked, everyone would be wallowing in sorrow and depression. I am in no way trying to criticize what’s been said over pulpits under the influence of the Spirit. Several of these very testimonies have touched my heart. But there are also a great many times when people have looked over the crowd and said “I know that life is really rough for all of you” where I’ve started to squirm a little in my seat. I’ll ask myself if life is really that hard for me, and I would venture to respond negatively, and I don’t even consider myself that good at being a happy person. Why does “life is hard for everyone” have to be the fundamental premise of these testimonies? I’m starting to think it’s becoming a cultural norm for us here at BYU to assume that it’s normal, natural, and realistic to perpetually be struggling with despair. And that mindset worries me.

                In a verse from 2 Corinthians 4, Paul beautifully teaches a concept I think directly opposes this trend I’ve been seeing: “We are troubled on every side, yet not distressed; we are perplexed but not in despair;” (emphasis mine)

 When I think about these truths that Paul is teaching, I can’t help but be filled with hope. I think that we are meant to be hopeful. In fact, Preach My Gospel explains that through relying upon the Atonement “we can be filled with joy, peace, and consolation.” (PMG, 52). But yet it seems like there is a cultural idea that life will always be difficult, turbulent, and draining. I’m not attempting to say that bad events don’t happen in life—they do and they always will—but I’m saying that if we really understand and believe Paul’s teachings, we ought to think twice before we accept “life is hard” as a fixed truth. What’s wrong with the “life is hard” mentality? I think it boils down to matter of perception.

What is “hard”? What is “easy”? You and I might define the most recent calculus test we took as “hard”, while the genius next to us who hardly studied and aced the test would say it was “easy”. That difference can exist because at root, the words “hard” and “easy” are words based in perception, not in reality. The exact same event can be perceived as life-altering by one person yet be viewed as simply routine from a different viewpoint. It’s all a matter of where you stand. And the beautiful thing is, the perspective we take is largely determined by what we know and how we apply what we know.

This is the essence of that 2^nd Corinthians scripture. Paul is trying to inspire hope by reminding us that because of the glorious reality of the Atonement, the objective events of life don’t have to make us subjectively unhappy. The facts that we got a low score on a test doesn’t mean that we need to be beating ourselves up because of it. We can still be single yet with patience not be despaired because our goal of marriage hasn’t been fulfilled yet. We choose to take an eternal perspective, at which point any bad day, no matter how low, seems rather inconsequential.

There’s a second eternal truth at play here that also backs Paul’s teachings, found in 2 Nephi 2:27. That scripture reads as follows: “Wherefore, men are free according to the flesh; and all things are given them which are expedient unto man.” (my emphasis added) Look at that underlined phrase for a second. “All things are given them which are expedient unto man.” Given the scripture given just two verses earlier (2 Nephi 2:25), which explains that “men are that they might have joy”, we ought to understand that joy is something that God finds “expedient”. In other words, we are promised that we will be given circumstances which can lead to our happiness. What Lehi is teaching is that we don’t have to wait for this semester to end before we can be happy, and we don’t have to wait for a terrible day to end before we can feel peace. This verse is a divine promise that at any given moment in time, we will have all of the tools available to us with which to build joy. Conversely, we will also always be given all of the ingredients for misery at any given moment of time. The difference is that we get to choose what we make.

My point is this: there is a very real difference between bad events in life and going through struggles. Thanks to the agency Lehi explains in 2 Nephi 2 and the supplementing power of the Atonement that Paul teaches in 2^nd Corinthians, we can experience setbacks in life and still see life as enjoyable. When we say something like “life is hard for everyone”, we are assuming two things: (1) that everyone has problems, which is true; and (2) that everyone is being brought down to despair by those problems, which doesn’t have to be true. We need to get out of this glass-half-empty mindset and start to rely upon the Savior more so that we can smile more and really enjoy life as we are meant to.   

Perhaps a personal example could illustrate this. Last Monday, I was asked multiple times how my weekend had gone. I could have easily answered:

“Terrible. My intramural basketball team forfeited the rest of our season, I did poorer than expected on several tests at the end of last week, I spent Valentine’s Day very much single and alone, I had to work most of the day Saturday, I came down with a cold, and I really didn’t get to enjoy any of the good weather.”

All of that would have been true. If you look at the facts, all of those events happened. They were bad events. But I subscribe to a simple philosophy: “No problem is so bad that whining about it won’t make it worse.” I believe that despite what challenges I ran into last weekend, there were still positives. So I would answer with something like this:

“It was a good weekend. I got to go to a great stake conference, spend some time relaxing, and play basketball for a long time on Monday. It was a really good weekend.”

Friends, there is no need to despair when going through life. There are bad things that happen in life, but that doesn’t mean that life has to be hard. There is joy in every moment of every day if we have the eyes to look for it. There is no need to assume that life will always be difficult. Let’s build each other by talking about the positive more, instead of only sharing the bad in life. Let’s take upon ourselves an attitude of positivity and rejoice as we walk through this life together.     

The Fight Within

To Keep Under the Body

                In 1 Corinthians 9:26-27, Paul writes the following passage: “So fight I, not as one that beateth the air: but I keep under my body, and bring it into subjection: lest that by any means, when I have preached to others, I myself should be a castaway.” I love this scripture for multiple reasons, and I think it illustrates a great principle regarding self-mastery:

Self-mastery is a spiritual endeavor. Paul equates losing control of his body with becoming “a castaway.” Simply put, without self-mastery, we cannot continue on our course to eternal life. Why? I think to understand, we need to revisit the basic point of the gospel.

The point of the Gospel is to help us throw off imperfections, with the end goal of becoming like our Father in Heaven. Because He is perfect in every aspect, there are many different “lenses” we could look through to describe Him. One way to describe God’s perfection is that He is the perfect master of himself. He has mastered his own desires to the point where He can devote Himself entirely to His children. He has mastered every attribute of perfection and conquered every imperfection. And truly, that’s what the varying commandments of the Gospel point us to. The Law of tithing teaches us to master our budgets. The Law of the Sabbath teaches us to master our time. The Word of Wisdom and Law of Chastity teach us to master our physical appetites. In the end, the goal is the same: master our wills entirely so that we can consecrate ourselves to God and love Him “with all [our] soul, strength, and mind” (Luke 10:29) Exercise, eating right, sleeping for enough time, time management, and all of the other facets of self-mastery might not appear like spiritual undertakings on the surface, but even these activities bring us closer to God because as we master our bodies, we become more like Him.

For me, this is a very liberating principle, because it teaches me that on my quest to master myself—even in mundane matters like healthy eating—I’m not alone. Because it’s a spiritual fight (not just a matter of temporal desires, or one of those “either option is good” choices), I’m entitled to divine help. Physical battles alone can at times seem daunting, but nothing looks too hard when you know that the Savior of the world is standing besides you. In other terms, the Atonement of Jesus Christ covers not only the temptation to commit serious sins, but also covers the temptation to eat that extra cookie or the temptation to stay on the couch and be lazy, or any other desire of the natural man. Elder Jorg Klebingat of the Seventy taught this simply in the October 2014 conference:

“Spiritual confidence increases when your spirit, with the help of the Savior, is truly in charge of your natural man.” (Emphasis added)

                So for all of those who like me, find life a constant struggle between the natural man and our spirits—perhaps not over matters that show up on a temple recommend interview, but important lifestyle choices still the same—take heart. All of the incredible promises that the Lord extends to those attempting to keep His commandments also apply here. Realize that such a struggle for self-mastery is a spiritual struggle, and with an all-powerful Savior on our side, all spiritual struggles can be won by turning to Him.

The Lower Lights

In the October 2012 session of General Conference, President Packer told a story of attempting to cross a dangerous reef by boat in the middle of the raging storm. He explained that a light was set up on a nearby hill, and a second one was to be lit on the beach. When the boat was at the location in which the two lights lined up in a straight line, it could safely cross the reef. President Packer related his experience to that of the hymn, in which is sung:

Brightly beams our Father’s mercy

From his lighthouse evermore,

But to us he gives the keeping

Of the lights along the shore.

Let the lower lights be burning;

Send a gleam across the wave.

Some poor fainting, struggling seaman

You may rescue, you may save.

                The words of this hymn teach a concept that can also be found in 1 Thessalonians 1:6. In this verse, Paul tells that people that “ye became followers of us, and of the Lord.” When we read that verse, it’s not hard for us to understand what Paul is saying when he tells the converts that they have become followers of the Lord. Perhaps what is more surprising is that he acknowledges the fact that these converts have also become followers of Paul. I believe that in this verse, Paul is simply teaching the same concept taught in that hymn: there are two important examples we need in our lives—the “upper light” of Christ, and the “lower light” of human examples.

The “upper light” is obviously the Lord Jesus Christ. President Kimball explained that the reason why we needed a perfect example such a Christ. He terms the word “fixed principles” to explain the perfect qualities that Christ embodied. In President Kimball’s words: “He really does embody all those virtues and attributes the scriptures tell us of. If we don’t accept that truth and that reality, then we will not have the fixed principles or the transcendent truths by which to live out our lives in happiness and in service.” In other words, if our best example had only lived 99% perfect, then we could never shoot for 100%. Knowing that everyone has weakness, it becomes immensely easier to justify what you or I might consider “the 1%”, and excuse weakness or mistakes as an unchangeable part of our nature. The perfect example of Jesus Christ takes away that excuse, because from a position of perfection Christ could command us to be perfect, even as he is. Of that command, President Kimball said “In urging us to be perfect as our Father in Heaven is perfect, Jesus was not taunting us or teasing us. He was telling us a powerful truth about our possibilities and about our potential.” It’s only through looking at the perfect “upper light” of Jesus Christ that enables us to reach higher within ourselves and find the way to struggle for perfection.

 In His perfect wisdom, Heavenly Father knew that the very perfection of Christ would also open the door for Satan and his lies. Compared with such an incomparable standard, can you or I ever help but occasionally wonder when Satan whispers “You’re not good enough. You’ve already made mistakes, and you’re a lost cause?” It can at times be extremely disheartening and depressing to see our own inadequacies and have to compare them to the bar set by the Savior. That is why we also need “lower lights”—the examples of good men and women, who fight through their imperfections and show us that while they too make mistakes, they also have the potential to do great and amazing works of righteousness. I find such examples invaluable in those moments when it seems I’m too wicked or sinful to ever measure up to the Savior. In those moments, I look around at family, friends, acquaintances, and church leaders, and I take hope from knowing that they have made just as many mistakes as I have, yet still go on to accomplish incredible things.

The question that now lies in front of you and I is simple: will we be a lower light in our light? There are those out there who are waiting for us, who look to us as their second beacon in the night. We have a powerful potential to help out others and draw them closer to the true light of Jesus Christ. I conclude with the words of President Kimball:

Each of us has more opportunities to do good and to be good than we ever use. These opportunities lie all around us. Whatever the size of our present circle of effective influence, if we were to improve… even a little bit, that circle would be enlarged. There are many individuals waiting to be touched and loved if we care enough to improve.